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Archive for April, 2012

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Last night I had the wonderful privilege of visiting on the phone with one of my Dear friends from my High School days. I haven’t heard from or seen her* in over twenty years. (*name withheld pending approval to use) As I listened to her describe some of the experiences she has had; including three tours in Iraq, and the collapse of her marriage. I was deeply impressed by her courage’ and how she faced the difficult challenges of her life, and over came them. She said what helped her to heal and create the life she wanted; was to begin each day to love herself more. She took positive steps toward nourishing herself each day as her healing journey began.

For example when her feet hurt she took time to rest and soak them to help them feel better. She removed herself from negative situations both at home and work. She surrounded herself with positive people and focused on providing for her family. She often thought about her Mother and Mother in Law and all the adversities they faced and overcame to build up her courage when she felt discouraged. She purchased personal things that she normally hadn’t gotten for herself in the past;  to nurture her through the hard times. She went for walks in the fresh air, and took time to fix her hair, eat healthfully and dress well. She focused on positive measures to keep herself strong and healthy. She also never forgot her faith in God, as she has always trusted him to see her through all of life’s difficulties. Giving up was never an option.

In my experience I too have removed myself from negative harmful relationships and environments. I surround myself with positive people and I often read inspirational and self-help books. My faith in G’D has also been an intricate part of my healing journey. I trust G’D to guide and provide for me as needed in all situations. In addition I took a wonderful class called CORE, which really helped me acquire the tools I needed to begin healing myself and creating the life I want to experience. I am still learning to take physically nourishing steps to build myself up. I do follow a very healthy diet and vitamin supplement regime. I also go for walks with my children and grandchildren, and go on bike rides with my son . I enjoy playing computer games with my children; and listening to music that makes me happy. Giving up is not an option. Life is to wonderful an experience to waste being miserable!!!

My suggestion to you is take a close look at your present life experience. What is uplifting and nourishing to you? What drains you and takes away your peace and joy? Make a list if that helps you. Then start taking steps each day to create the life experience you want to have. It is your life after all, do not waste it in apathy or misery. I used to think I was trapped in the abusive domestic relationship’s I was in. I thought I did not have any options. After I attended CORE I learned I do have options. I am not trapped unless I allow myself to be. I am the one who is responsible for creating the life experience I am having. If I do not like what I am experiencing, I am the only one who has the power or the option to change it. You are never without options. You always have the option to change.

The first thing I did was leave the abusive relationship. I had left him before, and just gone back to him. So this time I not only left, I moved 1300 miles away and started a whole new life for me and my children. The old truck we made this epic journey in barely ran. I ‘d say it ran on a lot of oil (one qt per 40 miles) and prayer along with the kindness of many friends and strangers who helped us get to our destination. I thank G’D for each and every one of them!!!

As both my friend and I have experienced in very similar ways; we found that as we learned to nourish and love ourselves, our pain anger and grief became more bearable each day. For in loving yourself, you allow yourself to heal on many levels. You begin to respect yourself the moment you cease to allow others to mistreat you.

Many spiritual traditions also teach this, and encourage one to love oneself. In both the Christian and Jewish traditions one is encouraged to not harm oneself and to love your neighbor as you love yourself. The great Buddha also taught that “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

You my friend are a beautiful and unique creation. You were designed to love and be loved. The expression of Love is the most meaningful and powerful part of our entire existence. For this process to begin to function properly, you must first love yourself. Until you begin to love yourself, you will not be able to really love anyone else.

An excellent book on this subject that could help you begin your journey into love and healing, is don Miguel Ruiz’s wonderful book The Mastery of Love. I pray your journey is blessed, with all the love the universe longs to give you. Open your heart and allow your healing to begin.

Namaste, with Love,

Kerrie UniFaith

“When in doubt as to what to do, always allow Love to be your guide.”

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